The 10 Commandments of Tasting

After visiting hundreds of wineries in Napa and Sonoma, we've learned a few tricks of the tasting rooms. More than just how to swirl you glass properly, we've compiled our top ten tips on avoiding the cheap stuff, schmoozing the staff, looking the part and even getting some special pours if you're lucky.

Why? Because as fellow wine travelers we know you're not just here for the free buzz. You want to really experience the best wine country has to offer and leave the swill to the newbies. Following these insider rules of tasting room etiquette will help you not only get a leg up on the riff-raff, but really suss out where to buy and where to walk on by.

Read on, and prepare for some serious tasting…

Commandment One: Thou shalt look and act the part
The key here is understatement. Leave the fanny pack and tennis shoes at home, no matter how convenient and comfy they are. Instead, go for simple, well-tailored classics, good shoes and (this is key) some modest but impressive bling. Money talks, and staff usually gravitate to folks who look like they've got wine cellar, rather than a six pack in the fridge. And for heaven's sake, please don't make me tell you that walking in with a mouth full of gum, your screaming child or your double latte is about as refined as farting in an elevator.

Commandment Two: Thou shalt do a little recon
It's well worth spending five minutes online or with a local winery guide book to figure out what the winery is all about before you walk in. Do they specialize in Zinfandel? Then be sure to let your server know that you're especially interested in tasting them. (Otherwise, you may easily end up tasting everything but what you really should.) Lead your server into conversation by letting questioning them about things unique to the winery, whether that's old vines, barrel aging, the family history, etc. Don't be pedantic, just interested.

Commandment Three: Thou shalt not cheap out with the free tasting
Serious tasters don't mess with the swill that's usually offered for free. It's often the lower end wines that they're trying to offload. Even standard tasting menus usually don't reflect the winery's best stuff—too many people just don't know the difference. If you can afford it, pony up for a reserve tasting to really taste the good stuff. If you're pinching pennies, ask if you can try just one wine from the reserve menu. If the staff thinks you're serious, they'll often give you a taste for free.

Commandment Four: Thou shall pronounce wine properly
There's nothing more awkward than hearing someone ask for a pee-not nu-oar or a Vy-og-Ner (which granted, can be a little tricky to pronounce…its vee-on-yay). You don't need to be a boar, just show that you're familiar with more than white zinfandel. If you really don't know how to say it, then simply say "This is a varietal I'm not as familiar with" and ask for the pronunciation. It's also a great idea to familiarize yourself with some nifty wine terms like malolactic fermentation, barrel aging, botrytis, brix, residual sugar and tannin if you haven't already.

Commandment Five: Thou shalt sniff and swirl with confidence
Everyone's got their own style, but you can't go wrong with this lineup:

1. Sniff, quickly inspect the color
2. Swirl (best done on the table unless you're a real pro)
3. Sniff again, really getting your nose in the glass
4. Sip. Swish around your mouth a bit.
5. Swallow or spit
6. And if you're really serious, after swallowing, suck in a bit of air and look thoughtful for a moment or two. Everyone will wonder what you're thinking.

Commandment Six: Thou shalt spit heartily
Trust me, its not pretentious or rude unless you make a show of it (or miss). Pros spit all the time—in fact, they have to if they want to remain upright. The most important thing is to make sure you're actually spitting in, uh, the spittoon rather than the water carafe and that you don't leave a trail of destruction behind you. If you do happen to have a spitting snafu, which we all do from time to time, politely clean the mess up.

Commandment Seven: Thou shall take notes
Bring in a notepad and pen, or ask for tasting notes you can write on. Even if you're not a pro, you can certainly write whether you liked the wine, and what flavors you taste in it. Avoid terms like "Yuck" or "Yum" and stick to words like "Nice finish", "oaky" or "lots of fruit".

Commandment Eight: Thou shalt offer a polite opinion
Tasting staff aren't all that interested in whether you detect a "hint of grass and gooseberry", but if you offer up a relevant opinion, such as, "Hmm, is this steel fermented?" or something more bland like, "That has a nice finish," you'll set yourself up as someone who's there for more than a cheap buzz. Again, don't be a bore. Just offer up something more intelligent than, "Yummy. That's some good hooch." If you really like a particular wine, let them know. Don't be afraid to ask for others like it. You never know what other bottles might be open behind the bar.

Commandment Nine: Thou shall not be afraid to inquire politely
If you've established a good rapport with the tasting room staff and they're not too busy (be aware they are there to SELL wine, not just pour), feel free to ask if they've got some other off-menu wines you might try. Don't be insistent or too persistent if the answer is no. Just express curiosity and interest in what else might be open. Often they'll have some other bottles (usually the good stuff) set aside for wine club members and other VIPs. What's important here is that you be respectful and inquisitive rather than rude and overbearing. This isn't about getting free wine. It's about having an opportunity to taste the good stuff (and hopefully buy it.)

Commandment Ten: Thou aren't obligated to make a purchase. But if thou aren't buying, move thy butt along
Here's where things can get awkward. After you've just spent 20 minutes or so tasting wine, you'll sometimes get a pretty hard sell from the tasting staff. Especially if they think you're a serious taster (which if you followed these rules, you should appear to be). Keep in mind that you aren't obligated to buy anything. However, if you've really enjoyed a particular wine and the tasting experience, then buy a bottle or two (or a case).

Don't ask if you can get it cheaper at Costco or Bevmo. It's bad form. Also, be wary of wine clubs unless you REALLY loved all the wines you tasted. It's a great deal if you love the wines. A bad one if you're only so-so or really buzzed. If you're not planning to buy, then move along and don't hog up time at the bar. Give your tasting attendant a thank you and the requisite tasting fee and head out for to the next winery.